


XM 9099

by xiumiaou



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Angst, Dystopia, Kind of heavy, M/M, Romance, absolute boyfriend spinoff, but also romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 11:08:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11713155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiumiaou/pseuds/xiumiaou
Summary: XM 9099 is first activated on the 26th of March in the year 2990. The world and master that he'd been taught about before isn't at all what he thought they would be.





	XM 9099

I am dreaming.

  


I am always dreaming. 

  


I do not remember a time when I wasn't, though I wasn't sure if it was really a dream.

  


What is a dream anyway?

  


_ A dream _ , my subconscious answers me, _ /drēm/, 1. a series of thoughts, images and sensations experienced during sleep _ . And that was what it was, a steady stream of facts and figures, things I should know and things I will see. The grass is green. Knives are sharp, don't touch! Tears usually mean that someone is sad. This is how you kiss a person. And these are the muscles you need to pull so that the corners of your mouth go up in what was called a smile. What I was experiencing filled the definition completely, except for the part about sleep. I did not know if I was asleep. How can you be asleep if you were never awake? It is probably another definition.

  


  1. _2_ ** _._** _a state of mind in which someone is unaware of their surroundings._ But I am aware, aren't I? My surroundings are clear to me. The ever changing backdrops of this place, sometimes the streets of Tokyo, the hustle of the people there knocking into you, sometimes the aisles of a convenience store, a familiar smiling face as the ramen cups tip over, and sometimes the bottom of the sea, the currents pushing you to and fro. Today it is a forest. I approach a strange creature, brown as the soil beneath me with its arms covered in green feathers, reaching up towards the sky.This is a tree, my system tells me, as I touch the trunk and the bark gives way under my fingers, breaking down into megabytes and kilobytes and finally dissolving into binary numbers that float in the air and tickle my nose. I sneeze.



  


No, no, that's the wrong definition.

  


  1. _a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal._ But this is a noun that cannot be turned into a verb, and not a verb that can be experienced. I file it away and reach for the next definition.



  


  1. _an unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy._ No, that can’t be it. Here there are only facts. Pi is 3.14159265359. The earth is an Oblate Spheroid. The earth is where I am, where I will be. Once I open my eyes. Here reality is crushed into a ball of letters and numbers that tell me what to expect and how to react to them. There is no space for fantasy.



  


It must be the last one

  


  1. _a person or thing perceived as wonderful or perfect._ No, it mustn't be that. It is another noun that cannot be experienced as a verb. Impossible. I tell myself. Until I open my eyes.



  


The man standing before me is taller than me by an inch or two, I calculate in my head, he has wide eyes with dark circles under them, an upturned nose, pink lips. His hair is a mass of blond unruly curls on top of his head and his skin is marred with unsightly blemishes. Pimples, my mind tells me, scars. But those don't matter, no. His smile to me is warm, evoking an odd sense of comfort as the apples of his cheeks rounding in healthy globes as he held out one long fingered hand.

  


He is a person I perceive as wonderful, as perfect. He is a dream.

  


I am dreaming.

  


I have always been dreaming. 

  


And now I've opened my eyes.

  
  
  


[ACTIVATION: 0000.00.00 00:00]

  
  
  
  
  


。。。

  
  
  
  
  


「Don't be shy」He says encouragingly and the sound of his voice brings a warm sensation across my face, my ears, my chest. I am blushing. Blush,  _ /bləSH/ to develop a pink tinge to the face from embarrassment or shame _ . But I wasn't embarrassed, or ashamed. How confusing. I want to close my eyes again, go back to that place, that dream, to gather more information, but instead-

  


I take the offered hand.

  


It is smooth and soft, like satin, like mine. He helps me out of my box and drapes a bolt of fabric around my shoulders, a blanket, my mind supplies, and I clutch it closer to myself.

  


「My name is Lu Han.」 the man informs me, then takes my hand again and leads me to another room, a smaller room, with white tiles and ceramic plumbing.

  


「I am XM 9099」 I tell him. And he scrunches his face in a frown.「 Do you want me to call you something else, Master? 」 I tilt my head.

  


「Don't call me that.」 He's angry. Why is he angry?

  


「 Aren’t you the one that bought me? 」 I ask in confusion. 

  


He pauses and then closes his eyes for a few seconds. I worry that he might have shut down, but before I could panic he opens them again.

  


「Just call me Lu Han, okay?」

  


I nod, afraid to speak. I do not want him to get angry again. I only exist to please my master.

  


「We'll figure out a name for you later. As for now, do you want to see yourself?」

  


I nod again and he directs me to face a reflective surface, a mirror, and for the first time I see myself in the way I appear to other eyes.

  


My eyes are big, single lidded unlike my masters. A little less proportional to my face; My nose is more pointed than his, with a slight bump on the bridge, unlike Luhan’s button nose; and my mouth is the feature that differs the most from the one that he has. Mine is small, pink and with a definite m-shape while his is thin and slightly chapped. I find that I like his features better.

  


I find comfort in the features we have in which we are the same. Pale white, is the color of our skin, white like marshmallows and the porcelain fixtures in this bathroom, white like 80% of our eyes. Black is the color of our hair, sometimes brown under the light. Ten fingers and toes, two eyes and ears and arms and legs maybe one of everything else. Perhaps we're not so different after all.

  


But no, I shouldn't think such things. It is against the rules. I am not human, will never be human. This is not something I am allowed to forget.

  


My name is XM 9099 I was delivered to Lu Han on a dreary Wednesday morning, the twenty-sixth of March, in a slate-grey box. I came with an extra set of solar batteries, a certificate of ownership and a user manual.

  


A breeze wafts through the room and both of us shiver but I know that only one of us feels the cold, and this is what reminds me of the truth.

  


I am a robot and Luhan is my human.

  


And this? This is where we begin.

  
  


[ ACTIVATION COMPLETE: 2990.03.26 00:00 ]

  
  
  
  
  


。。。

  
  
  
  
  


My purpose in this world was hardwired into the very core of my being. I am a companion robot. Units like me are specially designed for the purpose of providing humans with entertainment, company and pleasure. I am to expected to please, flutter my eyelashes and then get on my knees. 

  


My human master does not ask for any of my programmed list of uses. 

  


In fact, there are many peculiar things about my human master. He does not touch me. Not like I was told to expect in the dream I was in before. I want to go back to that world, close my eyes and return to that reality where information is nothing but a thought away, but I am afraid it is too late for that. 

  


Instead after I am clothed the first action of his is to take the box that I came in and drag it out unto the backyard. I watch him, silently, obediently. Watch as the glistening letters “SM Corporation!” slathered generously all over the box dissolve into soot and smoke. A curiosity rises to the forefront of my mind but I dare not act on it. 

  


He returns indoors and begins to gather an assortment of other objects: scissors, tape and a towel I remember using. He does not spare me a glance, but I follow and can only watch again as he tosses the items in his arms into the growing flames that are whipped around by strong gales of wind. 

  


「 We need to leave. 」  He tells me, thrusting a backpack into my arms before pulling me out of the place. The trees in the backyard catch on fire as wayward wind dances with the flames. A red light flashes  **WARNING** before my eyes. A storm is approaching, my inner sensors tell me. I step outside with my master and the grey sky agrees. 

  


「Where? 」 I ask, turning to look back at the house as it too was set ablaze. By accident, I can only assume as my master curses, refusing to answer my question and sets off at a quick pace. I am forced to match his speed. 

  


We run. 

  


My question is forgotten.

  
  
  
  
  


。。。

  
  
  
  
  
  


There is a difference between knowing about something and actually experiencing them. I poke at a blade of grass, gasping internally as it springs back into the form it was before. How wonderful. How curious. What else is there in this world to experience? Many times my human chastises me for getting distracted and slowing down his rush to get away, but I cannot help it. I want to see more.

  


There is a rustle behind me. 

  


A creature with four legs and a tail leaps up at me, making a selection of noises that somehow my hard drive is unsuccessful in providing a name for. I fall with a cry that catches my human's attention and he drives the creature away with a stick before it can do any harm to me. He turns to me, once the creature had run off and I realize this is the first time he’s looked at me since the burning house. I thank him and he reaches over to ruffle my hair. There is a twinge in my chest cavity and for a moment I am alarmed that there might be something wrong in my program but a quick check tells me that I am fine. 

  


He scolds me.

  


I am thankful that he cares.

  


We stop three hours and thirty-two minutes later. My sensors were right. The storm came upon us in torrents and blusters of wind that buffer us from side to side. My human and I take cover under a bridge along the road. I still do not know where we are going. I do not know if I am allowed to ask. Dare I try?

  


No. I trust my master. My master knows what he is doing. Questioning him would be disrespectful and I am a good companion robot. I would never disrespect my master.

  


He’s busy now, riffling through the things we grabbed before we left. It appears as if he was thinking. In the darkness, like this, the blemishes on his face seem to disappear. Like this, we are almost the same. 

  


I gather up courage and approach him. Reaching for his arm but before I could touch he flinches away from me. He stumbles back with a startled cry and all I can do is stare.

  


He apologizes, profusely. As if he was the one at fault, when internally all my built-in programs are yelling at me for causing harm to my human master. I tell him so, and he does a double-take, shakes his head, and tells me it’s okay. There is a sincerity in his eyes, a spark that I can’t fathom. Vacantly I wonder if I have the same spark in me. I’ve never checked.

  


「 You should have a name. 」He says, breaking the relative silence in the midst of a storm around us.

  


I am confused. I already have a name「 My name is XM 9099 」I tell him. He must have forgotten.

  


He is dissatisfied with my answer and shake his head. 「That’s not a name. That’s a label」He says with contempt. His words like a whip, like a lightning strike.

  


I do not understand. I tell him so and his contempt only seems to grow, confusing me even more, but he does not act on it. Merely closes his eyes. Breathes. And then:

  


「 What do you want to be called?  」

  


I come up at a blank, knowing that saying my name (my label?) could only anger him more. I do not want to anger my master. I am meant to please him, after all. But I cannot lie to him. Not ever.

  


「 You won’t like the answer. 」I tell him, hoping my honesty would make up for my faults.

  


He only sighs, gives me that look again, that same look of sincerity and what looks to be resignation. He mutters to himself things that I cannot hear before turning his attention upon me once again. He apologizes. (he’s apologized a lot), tells me I’m young, he shouldn’t have expected more. Inwardly I am relieved, but also disappointed in myself for failing to live up to his expectations. Will he be sending me back now? Where would I go I wonder? That information hadn’t been filed in my database. Would I go to a new master? Would my unit be reassigned to some other function in society? Or would I be deactivated and simply cease to exist?

  


The idea is daunting. How can I have failed in my purpose mere hours after I have begun?

  


The hand he reaches out to hold mine is unexpected, and so is the smile on his face.

  


「 Do you mind if I name you? Just for now, until you can think of something better. 」

  


I nod my head. As if I could ever say no to my master.

  


He beams at me and touches my cheek. 「Xiumin.」He breathes, and I smile back at him.「It suits you..」

  


「 X-I-U-M-I-N 」 I sound out the letters, input them one by one into my memory. My master has given me a name. It suited me, he said and with the first honest smile on his face since we met, what could I do but agree?

  
  
  
  


。。。

  
  
  
  
  
  


Luhan,  as he’d ordered me to call him after he learned  that I was still referring to him as master, remained silent throughout the rest of our journey, until he asked: 「 Do you like it?. Being a robot. 」breaking the silence as we trudge along the mud-covered landscape. The rain had given way to a light drizzle long ago, the sun not quite peeking through the clouds. Much of the time we had walked, Luhan had been grumbling about the wasted time and the footprint trail left behind in the mud. This was the first time that he turned his attention to me once again. As though he had just remembered that I was behind him. 

  


I perk up enthusiastically. Eager to reply. 「I have nothing to compare it to. However I am enjoying it so far.」I tell him with a bright smile, hoping this time we could have a proper conversation and I would finally be doing something right.

  


He scoffs and turns to me with arched brows. 「All we did so far is walk. You like that?」He prods me with his walking stick.

  


‘ _ I’m with you’  _ I want to say, but I restrain myself. 

  


「It’s interesting.」I say instead, 「What’s it like, being human?」I try to carry on the conversation.

  


He is taken aback and turns his attention away from me again, his face unreadable.

  


「Human.」He spits it out like a curse. His face hardening and in the dim light the sun gave out like scraps, he looked like a different person altogether. 「I wouldn’t know.」

  


This confuses me. 「What do you mean?」I gather up the courage to ask. But he’s distracted, squinting into the distance. 

  


「We’re almost there.」He replies instead, pointing out  what looked like tents juxtaposed against the flat horizon that I was used to. This was the first settlement we had come across in our long and seemingly endless walk through the sea of grass. We had been avoiding all roads and scattered houses so far. I had only met a variety of animals before then and it seemed now I would be able to meet others, human and robot alike.

  


The proper emotion to feel in this situation should be excitement, but the expression on Luhan’s face had me feeling anything but that. His jaw was clenched and there was steel in his eyes. Adding more to the list of things in which I didn’t understand about him.

  


We trudge ahead and instead of excitement, I feel dread.

  
  
  
  


。。。

  
  
  
  
  


What greets us when we get there is a barrel of a gun pointed at  both of our faces by a robot; whose arms and legs were stripped down to the bare basics of machinery, just enough to still function, but barely enough to not be disconcerting. He doesn’t look threatening though, even with the kohl rimmed eyes and too threatening weapon in his stainless-steel hands. He was short, he was delicate and he was terrified.

  


「Identify yourselves!」His voice sounds hoarse, rusted over with the lack of use. Luhan doesn’t bat an eye.

  


「JD 9221 sent us.」

  


Luhan’s words did the trick. The robot lowers the gun and the sensors screaming in my head tune down into a low hum.

  


The petite robot lets out a sigh in relief. 

  


He turns to my direction, his unnaturally bright blue led gaze examining me up and down, assessing me as I did to him for any possible danger. He turns to do the same with Luhan but he quickly lowers his head down the moment he was caught staring. 「 F-follow me please… Our leader will see you」He mumbles to the ground.

  


We follow as he leads us through the maze of tents, each one different from the last in a disconcerting mess of color.. I scan our surroundings - This place is a camp, approximately twenty-two hectares wide, hidden by a copse of trees on all sides. My eyes dart around, zoning in closer to the row of tents that seems endless, detecting movement there. One of my kind emerges from one of the tents, he looks worse than the first one that greeted us. His arm was torn with wires dangling on the edge, his leg appears like it was ripped off with half of his skin covering his naked machinery. The broken robot then suddenly covers his mouth with his only usable hand which is still barely intact, and jerked forward with a crunch and a wheeze,

  


_ /ˈkȯf/ _ _  to force air through your throat with a short, loud noise often because you are sick.  _

  


A malfunction, possibly. Due to whatever misfortune had befallen his unit. Manifested in ways that humans programmed into our systems. I explain in my head. 

  


My system is all clear, my alarm not at all triggered by this crooked remains of what once must have looked similar me. But something feels wrong…unnerving. 

  


Why am I feeling this way? 

  


Data. I need more data. What is this place? Why has Luhan brought me here? What happened to all these sad bare-bones of what a robot should be, worn, torn and lost? I step closer to Luhan, frightened, unsure and he senses it somehow. He reaches out a hand to steady me. I take comfort in that as the largest tent looms closer still. That is our endpoint.  I hope when we get there my questions can finally get some answers.

  


Various other amalgamations of the robot form and the human silicon layer over it encounter us as we pick our way through the tents, exposed steel and wiring flashing at me under their tattered clothes.They look tense and scared when they see us, relaxing only when they see that we have one of their own members leading our way. A wayward thought tells me that I must seem like a human to them, especially since I am brand-new and just stepped out of the box. The SM Corporation: Boyfriend Store Department does it’s job well in mimicking the human form.

  


「 You said Jongdae sent you?」Our attacker-turned-guide questions us, nervously. 「How is he? 」

  


Luhan scoffs, but when he notices how the others worried expression he sighs instead, hand pressing to his forehead. 「He said to tell anyone that asked that he was fine.」

  


「He would..but how is he...really?」

  


「 Bad. 」Is all that Luhan says, his voice reluctant, distressed.

  


I want to ask who Jongdae is, but the look on the stranger’s face discourages me, there was condensation in his luminescent eyes that he really needed to get rid of if he didn’t want to malfunction. Before Luhan can notice too, he has already wiped it away. 

  
  
  
  


                                                                      。。。

  
  
  
  


Inside the biggest tent is a human. Like the robots, he is scarred, a criss-cross of ugly mottled skin running up his left arm and disappearing into the sleeve of his shirt. There is an indention on his face as he smiles at us, a dimple, caused by the facial muscle: zygomaticus major being too short, I immediately know. 

  


My confusion at this point is threatening to overflow. 

  


Luhan suddenly stiffens beside me as the the man begins to speak:

  


“LH 9007, it is you...right?” He inquires with the tilt of his head and the opening of his arms and Luhan dips his head, wiping at his face with a cloth that is handed to him by the human, wiping off the grime and somehow...the little imperfections, creases and pimples like they were nothing., revealing pale perfect skin...too perfect almost. The feeling of uneasiness bubbles up and I take a step back.

  


_ Figures, explanations, searches _ , popping up all over my head trying to make sense of the situation and coming to an end at one strange conclusion.

  


「 Luhan, that’s the one I chose. 」My human answers, except he’s not. Not human. Not my master. not at all for what I was designed for, not what I was programed to confront the moment my box was unpacked one rainy wednesday morning. 

  


“Of course.” the man says cordially as if my internal system was not currently going on overdrive from trying to comprehend how I could have missed such an important facet of my travel companion. 

  


He extends a hand “It’s nice to meet you, Luhan. Zhang Yixing, Jongdae could have told you about me?”

  


Luhan confirms this with a grim nod, he doesn’t take the hand, his unnaturally bright eyes narrowed at the human, but I am not looking anymore. I’ve been struck with a sudden realization. I knock into a table in my retreat and both of their heads snap up in concern.

  


“Are you alright…?” Yixing draws out the end of the sentence as if asking for something...like my name, but I do not give it.

  


「 You stole me. 」my voice is shaking but I try to tune it as I whirl into Luhan and point an accusing finger at him. 「 From my master’s house. You burnt it down and you stole me!」

  


「 I did 」Luhan says unrepentantly, eyes flashing. My accusations don’t seem to faze him. He seems righteous even. 

  


「 Where is my master? 」I demand. 「 Where was he when I was delivered? 」

  


「 I have no idea. 」Luhan says honestly this time. From that, I just want to launch myself at him and shake him for ruining my existence before it even began. For surely now my master had seen what had happened to his house. He’d be out there, cold, homeless...and I wouldn’t even be there to help him. What kind of a companion was I to see the house burn and not do anything about it? To instead follow some juvenile robot out into the unknown instead of my duty. To even mistake that same juvenile as my master himself. How could I?!

  


「 You are lucky.」A voice breaks my spiralling train of thought that was slowly turning worse and worse and I whirl around to see it was the first robot with the gun that had spoken. I had almost forgotten about him.

  


「 Lucky?  」 I spit out. 「 My master must hate me now! 」

  


「 Better he hate you and never have touched you, than love you, make you feel secure. Then throw you aside when some shiny new model of robot shows up and tear you to pieces for spare parts. Masters are all the same. We are all just toys to them. To be used, abused...then thrown away. You should thank Luhan, he saved you from that. 」He’s sneering now, but the look in his eyes is haunting. A look I simply cannot accept. The burgeoning anger I was starting to feel gave in to a sliver of fear.

  


「 N-no, I….It can’t be like that. I-- 」

  


「 You saw how many others like us are out there! All those tents! All those men and women like us abused by masters like them! 」He’s shouting and faintly in the background I can hear both Luhan and Yixing trying to calm him down.

  


I turn away, hand to my chest as my motors whirr. This can’t be true, I think. Masters were good, their word was to be followed at all times. They could do no wrong. And yet the evidence before my eyes told me otherwise. It doesn’t take great leaps of logic to know what was being said to me was true, not with what I saw. Did the masters really cause all that?

  


Yixing has pulled the upset robot into his arms, hushing him as the anger that had bubbled to the surface fell apart to expose the vulnerable sadness beneath it. He hid into Yixing’s chest, more condensation gathering up in his eyes...strangely like human tears.

  


「 I’m sorry. 」Luhan apologises, for a moment I think that he is talking to me but his eyes are fixed on the interlocked pair. 「 You have to understand...he’s only in the double-digits zone for the number of hours lived. He doesn’t know. 」

  


“Kyungsoo, go and take a break. “ Yixing kindly ordered as the robot in his arms seems to have calmed down, he focuses on the robot that I now know as ‘K-Y-U-N-G-S-O-O’, the series or characters filed away for later use, filed under the words, ‘ _ robot’, ‘gun’, ‘ _ and  _ take care of him _ ’. “Be a dear and tell Jongin it’s his shift now, okay?” 

  


Kyungsoo nods and leaves, not even sparing me a glance.

  


I am alone with a human and my kidnapper, but it is not them I am afraid of any longer.

  


「 Is it true? 」I ask urgently the moment I am sure that Kyungsoo is out of earshot. I already know it is but I still want to ask. 

  


“We have no reason to lie to you.” YIxing sits down again, and Luhan calmly maneuvers me into a wooden chair beside him. 

  


「 I’m not sorry I stole you. Kyungsoo was right. You are lucky. 」He pats my shoulder and when I look at him I can’t help but feel once again the comfort and sincerity I detected in him before, when I still thought he was my master. That part, at least, was not a lie. In fact there were never lies, only assumptions. Ones I made by myself. I was just as much to blame.

  


「 But why did you steal me?」

「It was out of my plan. But the moment I caught sight of the delivery truck dropping your box with no one around to collect you. It was then or never. I saw it as a chance for you to survive your cruel fate that you were programmed for. I am not your enemy here. 」

  


I look down, the situation finally dawning on to me. It seemed all the information I was given in order to properly function in this world would be useless. The world was different from the sugar-coated one I was told to expect. 

  


I sit down heavily and tried to calm myself as Yixing and Luhan began to talk over my head.

  


“What did Jongdae tell you about us?” 

  


「He only said to come here. And that this camp has uncovered something that could help us fight against the humans. Is it a physical weapon? a bio weapon that could only fatally damage bio organisms like them? That’s what I first thought until I came here, you’re-」

  


“Human. I know.” YIxing interrupts with a sigh, I finally look up from my processing of events at the words spoken.

  


「You intend to harm the masters?」I ask in disbelief, the thought is too far-fetched for me to swallow even with the data that the masters are not all that I expected them to be.

  


“No” 「Yes.」

  


Luhan glares at the human whose answer contradict to his. 「A  _ human _ would say that.」He spit the word like an insult. It is clear that he does not trust Yixing the way he did Kyungsoo.

  


「 What is one of your kind even doing here?!」

  


“Calm Luhan, that’s not gonna help. And, I’m just here to tell you the truth.”

  


「The truth?!」Luhan hisses. 「What? That humans are horrible self-serving scum that only think of themselves? Everybody knows that already. I didn’t travel all the way here just to hear this.」

  


He stands up, enraged. He looks terrifying in this dim light, but it isn’t just anger on his face, there was something deeper within his fallen gaze. A loss of hope.

  


“Sit down, please.”

  


「I am not taking orders from a human! Not again! 」Luhan yells.

  


I hear him come before he even shows up. It’s a different robot, one of the earlier models I can tell by the outdated tech in the exposed wiring of his joints. He’s taller than everyone I’ve ever seen, standing at six-foot two. I recognize him from sight, he was showcased on every screen years ago, a lauded accomplishment to show just how far technology had come. He was the first of our kind and his name was imprinted in all of our databases. The face that he was here further cemented the reality of the situation in my mind. 

  


YF 9000.  

  


「Then maybe you’ll take orders from me, Kid.」

  


Luhan shoots the robot a dead look, but the moment his eyes figure who was making his way towards Yixing’s side. His eyes soften, lips pressing into firm line. He recognizes him too.「Cut to the point. 」

  


“ The point is-” Yixing begins to explain.

  


「Not from you. From him」 Luhan cut the human off abruptly and stares straight at YF 9000. The tall robot  did not waver a single bit, not even a facial movement.

  


「Not like this, kid. You’re a drama queen and it looks like your friend’s gone into shock. I need you two to calm down first. Anyways, I have a feeling you won’t believe anything we say unless we give you proof.」

  


Luhan protests, but the authority that the other robot holds is unwavering. We stay sitting there for a while, Luhan’s eyes find mine and we share a brief connection, now we are in the same spot. This reassures me that although he is not my master, he will still be there for me. He brought me here, I am his responsibility, he will not forget that. 

  


He offers his hand out to me. I take it, linking our fingers together to serve as our bridge of comfort between us. 

  


Later when we are deemed calm enough we are led out of that tent and into another smaller one. The setting, room arrangement was slightly different. There is a box with light beaming through the peak hole. My system tells me it is a projector -  [ output device ](http://www.computerhope.com/jargon/o/outputde.htm) that can take images generated by a computer and reproduce them on a large flat surface. Yixing fishes out a tiny remote and presses a button, shooting a laser onto this wide canvas surface as Luhan and I are told to sit down and as we do so his fingers slip out of mine, a feeling of loss lingers in the places where his fingers had fit into mine.

  


“Do you feel calmer?” He asks. Both of us nod our head even though Luhan’s glare is still there, toned down by only a few notches.

  


The pair in front of us exchange a glance and come to a conclusion together, YF 9000 steps forward. 

  


“Yifan will explain, you’d trust him more than me anyway.”

  


Yifan nods his head and turns to us.

  


「Listen up, this is bigger than you or me. I need your proper attention kids and I’m going to need you to sit up and let me finish speaking first before you interrupt me.」He looks at Luhan in particular when he says this.

  


When Luhan doesn’t give any reaction to this Yifan continues with his speech.

  


「You say you’re calm, but back there you were obviously feeling..what? Angry? Confused? Hell you looked like you wanted to throw a chair at me. If we were really the robots they say we are, then it should be fucking impossible for us to feel, well, anything. At all. So tell me this kid...how the hell are you feeling anything?」

  
  
  
  


。。。

  
  
  
  


The question is answered by silence again, because there simply is no answer to it. How is it possible that we can feel?

  


Yifan’s lips make a slight curl. The first time his face gave any indication of what the robot within was feeling. He knew this question would throw us off-guard. This is a question that we never even contemplated before.

  


Luhan pipes up.「Electric impulses. The emotions are programmed into us made to reflect how humans react to situations and things….」

  


「No.」Yifan interrupts Luhan’s explanation. 「 If it was that then we’d only show the emotion physically, we wouldn't actually  _ feel _ it. The chemical juice that make humans feel what they feel just can’t be reproduced by any tech. They tried yeah but it’s impossible.」What he was saying, it was true, all true, but it left many questions in it’s wake.

  


「What are you saying?」I  speak up for the first time in his presence.

  


「Just watch. 」He pulls out a clear rectangular block that seems to be a USB, but far larger than any that i’d seen in my database. He inserts it into the projector and Luhan and I exchange glances, confused by his actions.

  


The projection appears on the canvas screen, a little worse for wear but still tangible enough in it’s three-dimensional frame to be acceptable.

  
  


….

  
  
  


_ “ Yifan. ” That voice sounds so familiar…  _

  


_ A tall lanky figure appears in my view, I cannot see who it is yet with the face cropped off from the frame. I hear a shuffling noise, the man pulls back and his face  comes into focus. It’s Yixing, he’s smiling widely There are no scars on his skin. His eyes form crescents and he smiles endearingly towards the person who is standing before him. “Don’t be stupid Yifan, I know you can do this!” _

  


_ Yifan laughs and tries to cover it with a cough. “You always say that but I never get in.” _

  


_ Yixing reaches over and fixes the tie on Yifan’s neck. “Believe in yourself. You’ll nail this” He drops a kiss on Yifan’s cheek. _

  


_ “Thanks.”  _

  
  
  


_ …. _

  
  
  


How is this relevant to anything, I wonder, as we watch, what seemed to be Yifan travelling to a certain destination from his perception. Why do we need to know about his early robot days. How does Yixing being his master connect to how we feel? 

  


I grow fidgety, casting a glance at Luhan who seems to feel the same, a frustrated scowl on his face. He looks like he would throw a fit at any moment, but then things change.

  


Luhan and I freeze, eyes riveted on the screen as things in what seemed to be the idyllic life of Yifan turned sour… It is apparent then that this is no regular recording, it is far too vivid and raw for that. But what it was...I do not know. There is a theft, wrongful accusations,  a trial where the situation exacerbates from bad to catastrophic. Hours seem to pass by in which we become aware that somehow...the person experiencing these events isn’t the same Yifan that was in front of us right now. It didn’t seem possible but it was. While we watch, Luhan’s hand somehow finds itself holding mine once again and I squeeze it tightly to ground him and I. What happens next….Leaves me speechless. Numb to the bone. My eyes can hardly believe it.

  


「What was that?」I say once the projection has shut off, my voice sounds foreign to my own ears as I subconsciously try to analyze it. Luhan is staring off at where the projection was in shock. His hand is clammy where it holds mine. 

  


「My memories.」is all the man replies. He moves from his current spot by the wall and approaches us. Pausing a metre away, his face straight, gaze serious. 「Now let me ask you again, why do you think we feel emotion?」

  


The tension in the room rises.  Luhan’s fist clenches into a ball so tight that his knuckles turn a bloodless white.. His lips press together as though he was afraid anything that he could comment after seeing that would destroy everything he believed in. it is up to me to say what neither of us want to be said.

  


「We were human. Once.」I say in lieu of Luhan’s silence. I say it just to validate it. To be sure I had come to the right conclusion no matter how improbable it was and as the words fell from my mouth I could see Luhan flinch. 「 In some ways…..we still are.」

  


“Cyborgs to be exact.  _ a being with both organic and biomechatronic body parts _ _. _ ” Yixing finally steps in. “And that’s what makes all the difference.”

  


「It was the new punishment system for people who fucked up. Why throw criminals away into prisons where we’d still have to waste money to clothe and feed them? We have this flashy new technology that could make them harmless but useful tools for society.. Once those bigwigs decided I was a waste of space…Everything I was became public property. They stole everything from my organs to my freedom, even my fucking free will. 」He reaches out an arm to Yixing and pulls him closer. 「They took away my memories too. It was ‘too dangerous’ for me to keep them. I was the first success. The ones before me died, the ones after me? All SM corps products. Including you. 」

  


I look down on myself, releasing Luhan’s hand to touch my cheeks my chest, my skin, trying to see where machine turns to flesh and bone and where it would have changed but the silicon layer is too perfect to distinguish from human skin. Unless I bled. Unless they stopped our capability of doing that too. I imagine digging my fingers in my skin with a morbid curiosity, will I see blood? Won’t I? Will I feel pain? My fingers poised over my arm as if to test it but Luhan seems to realize what I am about to attempt.

  


He pulls my hand away and stops me, shaking his head.

  


「How do we know this is true?」He asks challengingly, eyes flashing, to the point, stubborn, like he’s always been. I am thankful that he is still able to keep a level head in this situation when I am sure I have already lost mine.

  


“That’s the thing, not many cyborgs believe us yet. But soon we’ll have proof.”

  


「Explain.」Luhan is rubbing small circles into my palm with his thumb but he’s still glaring at Yixing, teeth bared, unbelieving. 

  


「This.」Yifan pulls out the clear rectangular USB from the projector and shows it us.  「My memory stick. Each cyborg should have one too. They’re not satisfied with just taking our organs for transplants and throwing us into jobs humans don’t want to work in anymore. They take any information we have ever learned in our human lives and put them in their databases for many uses. They don’t destroy them. With careful planning….we could take them back. 」

  


「So that’s what this is then? I thought we were going to fight. A revolution. Instead...you all just want to be human again?」Luhan stands up and I follow by instinct. Taking cues from him. I am barely more than twenty-four hours old. I do not have the experience to know how to handle this. 

  


Yixing puts a hand on Yifan’s shoulder and looks up at him before addressing us, his eyes serious, his voice sincere.

  


“ You had a life before you were turned into what you are now. It isn’t humanity we’re after. I’m the one that managed to retrieve Yifan’s memory stick. I barely survived.” My eyes flash to the scars all over his arms with sudden clarity. I knew under his shirt I would find more. “I needed to remind Yifan of who he was, what had been taken away from him. You could have had family, friends….” Yixing’s eyes trail over to Yifan’s. “A lover.”

  


「 This isn’t a revolution to overthrow humanity. We just want to take back what we lost. So...」

  


“Will you join us?”

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from aff, I also go by preshchen.


End file.
